Why are the holidays so hard sometimes? Aren’t holidays meant for celebrating, going out with friends and family? These are the very reasons they are challenging for some. Anyone who’s recently gone through the loss of a loved one, through death, a relationship ending, or for some, who are estranged from family or have difficulty in their intimate relationships, the holidays can feel like the very thing lacking is being magnified. The #holidays can be challenging for many people in many ways.
For me, it starts just before Thanksgiving. I can feel it coming. My marriage ended four years ago in October and my mother passed in December two years ago. Thanksgiving was my mother’s holiday, and I begin to feel a bit melancholy as soon as I see the boxes of stuffing and cans of cranberry sauce hit the grocery shelves.
I am one of those people who struggle during the holiday months. Though much of the time I am happy to enjoy holiday dinners and parties with friends, I also find myself spending more time alone. I am in an interesting spot these days - knowing I’m not quite ready to embark on a new intimate relationship, but missing intimate companionship and having that kind of attention is something that comes up for me almost daily. This season, I experienced pangs of #loneliness that were palpable, and painful. In the past, I would find something to do to distract myself - call a friend, spend time on social media, read a book or watch a movie. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out for connection or support, or even with switching gears to change the mood.
I’ve also learned, however, that allowing myself to feel the sensations and not fear, or run from them is essential to my growth and well being. Using the tools I’ve gained from my longtime #mindfulness practice, this year I decided to try something different - I sat with the feelings.
To be continued in Part 2.